His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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