I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
