I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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