just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
