They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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