My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
