I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
