with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
