I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
