i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
