We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just had sex bonerless
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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