I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize