I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
