yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
