what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
