people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
