We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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