I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
