i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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