Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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