It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
