You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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