I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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