Kareoke will never be a sober sport
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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