i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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