I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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