Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
