i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
