I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
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Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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