i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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