This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
