Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
