just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize