Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
