yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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