elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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