Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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