dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
