so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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