so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
