In the future we'll all be gay
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
