After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
