If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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