Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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