Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
