May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
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