so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
