but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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