All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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