So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
