it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
this is an emotional support booty call
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
