They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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