found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
