it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
