sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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