just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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