can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
