bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
