physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We are two peas in an std pod
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
